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Award winner author of gardening humor books

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May Dreams Gardens

Hortense Hoelove Ponders Gardening and Answers Questions

October 7, 2011 By Carol Michel 8 Comments

“Golden leaves carpet the ground beneath the honey locust, each one a memory of summer.”

Dear Hortense Hoelove,

What is it about fall that makes us become reflective and sedentary?

Signed,

Goldie

Dear Goldie,

Speak for yourself. I’ve got four bulb orders on their way and an entire garden to weed and clean up for fall. I also need to clean up the garage and make sure that all of the hoes are safely stored for the winter. Plus, I need to entice the garden fairies into the sun room, plant some hands in the garden for Halloween and oh, my look at the time. I need to get to work.

Anyway, there will be time to reflect on summer and gardening when it is too cold to be outside. In the meantime, I can assure you that the leaves of the honey locust are so small and fine there is no need to rush out there with your best leaf rake so you can rake them all into a big pile. Just mow over those that fall on the lawn and leave those that fall on the borders and beds alone. It looks nice and fall like.

Busily,
Hortense

Dear Hortense,

I need help putting the fun back into gardening. Can you help?

Sincerely,
Drooping Dahlia

Dear Drooping,

Let’s see… how to put the fun back in gardening. Would that make it garfundening? Or gardenfuning? Or maybe gfunardening, pronounced with a silent “g”?

I’m kidding. There are lots of ways to put the fun back in gardening. Start by making your garden a “garden fairy” friendly environment. Once you’ve done that — who hoo — there will be no end to the fun you’ll have in gardening.

Garfundenly,
Hortense
(With assistance from Thorn Goblinfly, Chief scribe for the garden fairies for May Dreams Gardens)

Dear Ms. Hoelove,

What do you call someone who puts the fun in gardening?

Signed,
V. Q. Gardener

Dear V. Q.

I call someone who puts the fun in gardening a Garfundenologist.

Sincerely,
Hortense

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: hortense hoelove, humor

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Indie says

    October 7, 2011 at 3:50 am

    Remember, one must always keep the garden fairies happy, or they might come up with their own kind of fun in the garden. And who knows what capers they can get up to and the aftermath that it might entail!

    Reply
  2. Fairegarden says

    October 7, 2011 at 11:15 am

    Yes to the garden fairy friendly garfundening!

    The Fairies of Fairegarden
    (We really need some clever names, like the May Dreams fairies have. Are you listening, Frances?)

    Reply
  3. Gail says

    October 7, 2011 at 12:09 pm

    You are so right, I need to make my garden more fairie friendly then, I will have more garfundening. gail

    Reply
  4. growingagardenindavis says

    October 7, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    I think my fairies are waiting for me to finish the fairy house. It's almost there. I am, however, apprehensive. Yours seem to like mischief. (No offense, Thorn.)

    Reply
  5. Rose says

    October 7, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    I've been reflecting on all the bulbs I have to plant. If I could find a way to plant them garfundenly, the job would sure go more quickly.

    Reply
  6. Cindy, MCOK says

    October 7, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    I know how to put the fun back in gardening but it involves Mother Nature, not garden fairies. Cooler temperatures are all it will take here on my corner of Katy!

    Reply
  7. Garden Design Sydney says

    October 8, 2011 at 7:42 am

    How fun to have fig trees. I have rarely eaten fresh figs, but any fruit you can grow yourself is an incredible (organic) bonus. Fresh figs from a tree sound delicious. In my childhood, my mother would dry them, too to save the bounty for later.

    Reply
  8. compost in my shoe says

    October 9, 2011 at 12:10 am

    Now exactly, how did the fun go away?

    Reply

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