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Award winner author of gardening humor books

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May Dreams Gardens

You Might Be A Gardening Geek: New Year’s Resolution Edition

December 28, 2010 By Carol Michel 17 Comments

You might be a gardening geek who makes New Year’s resolutions if…

You resolve to not buy any more plants unless you know specifically where you will plant them in your garden, but as soon as you see plants in the garden centers again, you buy at least one plant that you’ve fallen in love with instantly, because you also resolved to never pass up a plant you really like, even if you don’t know where you’ll plant it because if you go home and find a place for it and then go back and buy it, it might not be there and besides, it would just be a waste of time and gas to make two trips because you know you are going to get the plant, anyway.

You resolve to no longer rescue plants from the markdown racks at the big box stores, but as soon as you see the first plants marked down, you change your resolution to “only rescue plants you know you might, possibly, could have a place to plant them”.

You resolve that you will immediately plant every plant you buy, but then create a nursery holding bed in your garden to hold over those plants that you don’t have the time or place to plant immediately and change your resolution to “I will care for the plants I buy, even if I don’t plant them right away.”

You resolve to read the gardening books you have before you buy any more gardening books, but then some new gardening books show up in the bookstore and you buy them because really, they are not like the garden books you currently have and you want to support the publishers and authors.

You resolve to not buy another new hoe, or any other gardening tools for that matter, but don’t go so far as to resolve to not accept an occasional hoe to review. After all, it would be crazy not to accept a free hoe if offered.

You resolve to weed often and regularly so that the weeds won’t take over the garden, and then later change the resolution to “I will weed all weekend, if that’s what it takes to rescue the garden from all the weeds that seemed to grow overnight to take over the entire garden”.

You resolve to not blame the garden fairies for every little thing that seems a-miss in the garden and accept responsibility for it, but then later realize it is the garden fairies who are at fault, so you drop this resolution from the list.

You resolve to ask the seed companies to no longer send you print catalogs because you’ll just look online for their offerings, then you change your mind because it is so hard to circle what you want on each page, and then dog-ear the page so you can find it again when you are only looking online.

You resolve to mark where all the bulbs come up in the spring so you’ll know where to fill in with more bulbs in the fall, but then you don’t have time in the spring so you just go ahead and order “just a few extra bulbs” in the fall and hope you don’t disturb those already planted when you dig holes to plant these “few extra bulbs” which number well over a hundred.

Finally, you might be a gardening geek who makes New Year’s resolutions if you decide the only resolution you really need for the New Year is…

To garden more.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: gardening geek, humor

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lisa at Greenbow says

    December 28, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    I was geeking all through this post Carol, well done.

    Reply
  2. Dee @ Red Dirt Ramblings says

    December 28, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    Oh my goodness, I am guilty as charged. Eek, I'm a bigger gardening geek than I knew.~~Dee

    Reply
  3. Kat says

    December 28, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    Well said. I'm geeky right there with you.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous says

    December 28, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    …Garden more. Yes, that is the ticket to a happy life as a gardener!

    Frances

    Reply
  5. Anonymous says

    December 28, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    Assuming I'm not buying hundreds of bulbs, which I don't usually do for something new I want to try, I plant them in pots, and spot them around the garden in the spring. When they're finished blooming I plant them where the pot is.

    Every one should have a nursery bed for plants. You need a bed to try out new plants to see how they do, and to have them in case you need them. You don't only keep flour in the cupboard when you're baking, do you?
    Deirdre

    Reply
  6. Byddi - We didn't come here for the grass... says

    December 28, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    Oh No I'm a Garden Geek! Oh wait … I already knew that but you made me laugh out loud in the reminding or it!

    Reply
  7. Rebecca says

    December 28, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    Too funny, I actually just wrote down my gardening resolutions for this year-so I'm officially a gardening geek…So what–I'm proud of my geekness 🙂

    Reply
  8. Mr. McGregor's Daughter says

    December 28, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    Now that's a resolution I can live with! You had me nailed until the hoe resolution. I don't bother marking the location of bulbs – I take photos of them with landmarks and refer to them in fall. Much easier.

    Reply
  9. Donna says

    December 28, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    I am laughing so hard right now I am in tears….I thought it was just me who has hundreds of bulbs, weeds taking over, plants with no home and more on the way (I online shop), books in piles and more coming, catalogs, garden implements and oh you know…Ok I am a geek and I love it!!

    Reply
  10. Louise says

    December 28, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    OMG…I didn't know I had a twin!

    Reply
  11. Casa Mariposa says

    December 29, 2010 at 1:01 am

    Welcome to Geekdom!!! I resolve not to make any more resolutions. I will probably always buy plants I don't have room for (that's what pots are for), I only weed after it rains, and my seed/garden catalogs make my heart race and my head happy. Gardening more isn't a resolution it's a life choice!! :o)

    Reply
  12. Rose says

    December 29, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Yes, it's official–I'm now a true gardening geek, too:) Love your first resolution–it sounds like the way I argue with myself while deciding whether to buy that plant or not. I'm also resolving to lose weight and exercise more so that I'm in better shape come gardening season to wield that hoe and spade!

    Reply
  13. Gail says

    December 29, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    I need at-shirt proclaiming I am a proud garden geek! It must be green, too! happy New year Carol! gail

    Reply
  14. Unknown says

    December 29, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    Hey, I resemble that post! Is there a twelve step plan? Wait, who would really want one! Happy gardening to all.

    Reply
  15. Melissa says

    December 29, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Too funny….and so true.

    Reply
  16. Kathy says

    December 30, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    I embrace my garden geekness. But regarding the seed companies and online catalogs: this is also my pet peeve with them. You need a way to mark what you are interested in that will be there when you come back, and you need a shopping cart that doesn't lose all its items just because you didn't order the same day.

    Reply
  17. Carol Cichorski says

    December 31, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    Hey…I resemble that accusation!

    Reply

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