Do you dread getting your credit card statements after the Christmas holidays? Ha! You should see my credit card statements after the month of May. By early June, those statements often look like a directory of nursery and garden centers around my side of town and beyond. Some garden centers are even listed more than once.
I have to give some credit or blame to my stylist, Gloriosa Vanderhort. She has expensive taste and often whispers in my ear, “You work hard all year. What else are you going to spend money on? When will you ever see that plant again? When will you be here again where they are selling these sculptures? Now is the time.”
Then Ms. Hortefeller, my other garden center visiting companion, takes over. She marches me up to the cash register, pulls out one of my credit cards and buys the plants and everything else like she has the money of a Rockefeller.
Once Ms. Vanderhort and Ms. Hortefeller get done shopping, I feel like I need to turn to that tightwad gardener in all of us, Ms. Hortwad, to restore the balance and save up for the next big garden shopping spree in the fall. But I try to leave Ms. Hortwad at home when I am actually at the garden centers. She can be a real downer.
Collectively, though, they do provide balance. Gloriosa Vanderhort makes sure I buy good stuff, Ms. Hortefeller makes sure I just buy stuff, and Ms. Hortwad figures out how to make it all balance out.
And when they don’t all work together, there is always Dr. Hortfreud…
No one gardens alone, or shops for their garden alone, truly.