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Award winner author of gardening humor books

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May Dreams Gardens

The Society Considers Issues Of Identity

April 9, 2009 By Carol Michel 30 Comments

Greetings to all members of the Society for the Preservation and Propagation of Old-Time Gardening Wisdom, Lore, and Superstition (SPPOTGWLS or “the Society”)

Once again, we, the Society, have an issue of importance to consider, discuss, and debate while we wait for Spring to win its annual battle with the last huffing and puffing of Old Man Winter. Around here, that could be in the next few days, just in time for Easter.

Goodness, we don’t have much time, so we will dispense with the usual formalities of taking attendance, reading the old minutes from the last Society meeting, and reviewing the treasurer’s report. Trust me, as the self-proclaimed president, secretary and treasurer, when I tell you that all is in order with the Society’s business.

Let’s get right to the issue at hand, shall we?

Fellow members, have you ever noticed that some plants suffer from an identity crisis?

I noticed it when a saw the first blooms of the grape hyacinths (Muscari sp.). “Grape” hyacinth? Clearly these blooms have nothing to do with grapes. Nor do cherry tomatoes have anything to do with cherries. And don’t get me started on banana figs, which aren’t bananas at all!

But much as we are concerned with these plant identity crisis examples, and I’m sure there are more of them, and as much as we would like to help sort them out, we have no time, because we have a greater issue to consider.

It has come to the attention of the Society that some members are at a loss with how to describe themselves as a gardener. They have an identity crisis when pressed to put an adjective in front of “gardener”. No one adjective seems quite right.

“Experienced” creates expectations of omniscience related to all things about gardening and plants. Invariably someone will ask some obscure question and when you don’t know the answer they think “Ah ha! She (he) is not so experienced after all!”

“Old” sounds, well, old.

“New” sounds new. Plus “new” should not be used by any gardener who has gone through at least a complete set of seasons.

“Vegetable”? When you have a vegetable garden, it’s tempting to just call yourself a “vegetable gardener”, but this leaves out everything else that a gardener who grows vegetables is likely to have.

“Master”? Yes, that works for some, but may require an explanation as to how one becomes such a gardener.

“Hoe”? I really don’t think anyone wants to be called a “hoe gardener”.

Other adjectives that come to mind to help gardeners establish a better identity include “avid”, “dirt”, and “organic”. Or you could go with climate descriptors like “tropical”, “cold climate”, and “desert”. Or the type of flower you grow if it is roses or orchids.

But really, gardening is one of the most varied, exciting obsessions hobbies that one can have, so creating an identity as a gardener with one adjective just may not be possible. Therefore, I hereby will enter into the Society by-laws that gardeners should feel free to use as many adjectives as needed to create a proper identity for themselves.

And as the President, I’ve decided to go first in describing myself as a gardener.

I am a typical, avid, hoe-collecting, seed-sowing, composting, lawn-mowing, flower growing, experienced, weather-obsessed, blogging, dirt gardener.

Dang, I wasn’t going to talk about the weather again!

I now turn it over to the members of the Society to signify their attendance at the meeting via a comment and to note how they would identify themselves as a “gardener”.

Humbly submitted by:

Carol
Current President, SPPOTGWLS
May Dreams Gardens

P.S. The grape hyacinths have started to bloom, as pictured above.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: society

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Pam J. says

    April 9, 2009 at 5:01 am

    I would describe myself (today) as a follow-no-rules, try-it-all, plant and dirt gardening composter.

    Reply
  2. Anonymous says

    April 9, 2009 at 5:18 am

    Carol, I think they’re called grape hyacinth because if conditions are perfect they emit a scent similar to grapes.

    Anyway, I simply call myself an eclectic gardener. Any other classification would be erroneous. Oh, wait. Maybe eccentric. Yeah, eclectic/eccentric. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Nancy says

    April 9, 2009 at 5:20 am

    Uhmm. I am a developing, disabled, heat-loving, tomato growin’, rose loving Texas gardener.

    Although.. Grace may have the perfect description: eclectic/eccentric!

    Reply
  4. Victoria Williams says

    April 9, 2009 at 5:40 am

    Let’s see; a do-it-yourself, semi-experienced, mostly organic, no turf, gardener.

    Reply
  5. VP says

    April 9, 2009 at 9:35 am

    I’m happy with gardener – biu then I’m a simple soul ;

    BTW I’ve just bought a rainfall measure – I fear I’m on the slippery slope to weather geekdom!

    Reply
  6. Sylvia (England) says

    April 9, 2009 at 10:04 am

    Carol, thanks for a brilliant post. I like Nancy’s “developing” one of the joys of our hobby, the day we stop developing we are no longer a gardener! I think I will call myself plant-obsessed Gardner.

    Best wishes Sylvia (England)

    Reply
  7. Frances says

    April 9, 2009 at 11:19 am

    Trial and error gardener. Untrained but not untested. 🙂
    Frances

    Reply
  8. Daphne says

    April 9, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    Hands-in-the-dirt, natural-style, no-pesticide-using, seed-growing, bee-loving, no-till, vegetable-with-the-occasional-flower gardener.

    Reply
  9. Lisa at Greenbow says

    April 9, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    Madame President, the adejective that most aptly describes me as a gardener is Master Shoestring Gardenener. Let this be said in the minutes or any other thought wave.

    Reply
  10. Jamie says

    April 9, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    Such a fun post! Let’s see… I’m a four season, color loving, experimental gardener.
    Oh, and my Grape Hyacinth are blooming too!

    Reply
  11. Unknown says

    April 9, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    This is a fun post I would have to go with all consumed to the degree of dreaming about my gardens gardener.

    Reply
  12. Gail says

    April 9, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    Native plant loving, flower smelling, rock hugging, dirt gardener…thanks for asking! gail

    Reply
  13. Mr. McGregor's Daughter says

    April 9, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    I am an avid, organic, native plant, ornamental, environmentally conscious, experienced, dry shade, dry sun, plant-collecting, foliage, blogging, informal, wild gardener. I bet I forgot something.

    Reply
  14. KayGee says

    April 9, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    I’m an avid, spring-loving, determined, experimental, weed-pulling gardener who loves to grow vegetables and compost anything possible.

    Reply
  15. MA says

    April 9, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    I have to come up w/something catchy so will be back in a bit.

    Reply
  16. Town Mouse says

    April 9, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    Each time I say “I’m a gardener”, I’m asked “what vegetables do you grow”. It so happens that I don’t grow any but faithfully leave large amounts of money at the farmer’s market instead. Am I a plant gardener? A perennial, shrub, and annual gardener? An ornamental gardener? I agree, it’s quite a conundrum. “Gardener” would serve me well…

    Reply
  17. wiseacre says

    April 9, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    Well, I do use one prefix often but that’s only in reaction to being called a landscaper.

    I’m a [insert vulgar word] Gardener.

    I just want to keep things simple. Gardener is all I need.

    Reply
  18. Kathy says

    April 9, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    I agree with Town Mouse, MA, Gail, Frances, and Nancy. And probably others, but I sensed an immediate agreement with those.

    Reply
  19. kate smudges says

    April 9, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    Love The Society! Can’t even begin to think of how I’d describe myself as a gardener. Off the top of my head, I’d say I’m a disorderly and disheveled gardener with a garden full of little treasures. Happy Easter, Carol!

    Reply
  20. Unknown says

    April 9, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    I only say this because I get a little upset by some people I know (no names will be mentioned) that call themselves gardeners because they will go out and water the one hanging basket of petunias (that they constantly refer to as pansies) on their front porch (but only if they are visibly fainting from heat and thirst). I am an ‘actual gardener’.

    Reply
  21. healingmagichands says

    April 9, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    Madame President! I second the motion that we be allowed to use as many adjectives as necessary to describe ourselves. What a brilliant idea.

    BTW, I believe that the grape hyacinth was named that due to the similarity the blossom group has to a bunch of grapes. Loosely speaking, there is a slight resemblance.

    I would describe myself as an annual perennial organic vegetable compost-making mulch-crazy daffodil-obsessed suburban wildlife habitat birdwatching gardener. If I think of any more descriptives, I’ll be back.

    Reply
  22. Anonymous says

    April 9, 2009 at 9:45 pm

    I’m a natives-loving, blogging wild-life gardener, obsessed to know lots, always searching after the meaning of those botanical, Dutch, English, German, French… names and folknames, always keen to discover some unknown folkloristic of historical fact about some (native) plant… an untidy and lazy, but overenthousiastic and impulsive listkeeping gardener…

    Reply
  23. Dee/reddirtramblings says

    April 9, 2009 at 10:53 pm

    I would say I’m a experienced rose growing, veggie loving, gardener, but that doesn’t mean I’m experienced about everything. There are so many new things to learn everyday, like don’t cut your carex. Unlike grasses, it doesn’t like it. Not at all.
    Later, Madame President.~~Dee

    Reply
  24. D'Rimba says

    April 9, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    My dear friend, I love nature too. Don’t forget to visit my blog. you and all of your friends are invited. I really appreciate your support. Thanks…

    Reply
  25. Pat says

    April 10, 2009 at 12:27 am

    Rabid. Is there another word which describes the annual affliction of those of us in the temperate zones of the earth?

    Reply
  26. blossom says

    April 10, 2009 at 5:29 am

    Tee hee heee … I’d say I’m an experiencing gardener (not experienced but experiencing). Oh that’s a bad adjective. Maybe experimenting sounds better. Ok, I’m an experimenting gardener on her way towards becoming an experienced one.

    Reply
  27. compost in my shoe says

    April 10, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    It is all about what day of the week you catch me in the garden….i will describe what I am by the tool in my hand……!

    Reply
  28. Anonymous says

    April 10, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    Help! Zombies are attacking my house – they’ve already trampled my sunflowers and I don’t know what to do. Anybody have advice on a good zombie-zapping plant?

    Reply
  29. EAL says

    April 12, 2009 at 5:25 am

    I have avid gardener on my blog description and I think it works.

    I’ve seen these weird zombie comments around. Wonder what’s up with them?

    Reply
  30. Anonymous says

    April 12, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    I like Frances’ “untrained but not untested.” On my blog description, I have my background/job experience/training and call myself a “gardener by choice.”

    I give a slide talk to garden groups called “Gardening for Amateurs” because no matter how much we know and how much experience we have gardening, there is always some plant/garden area where we are an amateur. We can never know or do it all, so I like being an amateur always having something new to learn or try. And thanks to the Society for bringing this topic to the table.

    Reply

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