“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your ship’s captain speaking.
I wish to inform you that our voyage to Frost-Free is on schedule.
We apologize to those who thought that our ship’s earlier and faster than normal speed through some rather lovely—nearly summerlike—days gave the impression that we would arrive early in Frost-Free.
However, as you can see, that is not going to be the case.
We are on schedule for arrival sometime in May, which is when we usually arrive.
In the meantime, we are doing our best to ensure your safety as we navigate through these choppy waters of late April. To assist us, we ask that you continue to keep all peppers, tomatoes, tropical plants, and other tender plants safely in your cabins until further notice.
Do keep in mind that even at temperatures in the 40s, which is above freezing, many of these plants will still not do well. And should temperatures drop to freezing, as can happen as we navigate toward our destination of Frost-Free, they will probably die outright.
However, throughout our journey, we hope you will continue to enjoy our assortment of pansies and violas with the occasional tulip thrown in for variety.
For those of you who wish to put your gardening skills to good use while we continue on our voyage to Frost-Free, our co-captain has informed me that there are rows of lettuce that are to be thinned out.
Please see your cabin steward to sign up for a row and timeslot. This will be a first-come, first-served event. Per ship’s policy, however, we do not allow rabbits to participant in this event.
Again, we apologize to those who anticipated an early arrival at Frost-Free. Be assured that as far as we know, we are due to arrive as originally scheduled, sometime in mid-May. We apologize that we cannot provide an exact date at this time.
Please also be advised that until we reach our port, you may still need to wear jackets or sweatshirts, and as noted above, keep all tender plants below deck.
Finally, should you hear a cold weather alarm sound, we appreciate your assistance in grabbing your frost cloths and following the instructions from the ship’s staff to ensure all gardeners and plants arrive safely at our destination, Frost-Free.
When we do arrive at our destination, we expect all gardeners to disembark in an orderly manner. No pushing, shoving, or grabbing plants off others’ carts will be tolerated.
Thank you again for sailing with us. We hope you enjoy the rest of your voyage to Frost-Free.”