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Carol J. Michel

Award winner author of gardening humor books

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May Dreams Gardens

My Methods of Weed Control

July 31, 2016 By Carol Michel 8 Comments

The redbud in this picture is a weed.

This has been a marvelous growing season for weeds, has it not?

I feel like I can’t turn my back on a flower border or vegetable garden bed for more than two seconds before a new weed seed germinates. There are weeds everywhere.

I clear out weeds in the morning and by nightfall they are back, and it seems as though they’ve brought their friends with them.

I look for weeds, find none, but the very next day, there is a weed in the spot where I looked before that is now three feet tall.  How did I not see it? The weeds hide like zucchini squash and only show themselves when they are huge.

From thistles to dandelions to redbud seedlings, I have enough weeds in my garden right now to qualify for some kind of world-record, I’m sure.

What’s a gardener to do?

I long ago abandonded herbicides as too expensive and not worth the chemical exposure in my little garden. I have explored so-called organic herbicides, including vinegar, and determined they are more hype than help. There is a reason they aren’t labeled as herbicides and not sold as herbicides and that’s because they really don’t work that well as herbicides.  And they can be just as harmful to the garden and the garden soil as chemical herbicides.

I think about using boiling water, but on the scale I would need to use it, it seems a bit impractical. To get to all the weeds, I’d be running back and forth with multiple tea kettles of boiling water all day.

Yes, many a hot afternoon, I’ve sat inside, where it is cool, and plotted and schemed and though about how to vanquish weeds from my garden. Meanwhile, outside, they continue to grow. And grow. And flower. And seed. And spread roots.

I could pull just a few weeds and leave them lying around the garden so the other weeds see them, get scared, and run for their lives. If only weeds could see and run away.

I could toy with the weeds, and often do, by letting them grow just to the point of flowering, then cutting them down or pulling them out, depending on their size.  I know this looks like procrastination on my part, but I really am just toying with the weeds, giving them hope, then dashing that hope. I want them to get demoralized and give up. If only they would.

I could pamper the weeds and make them feel like they are the most prized plants in the garden. Then they would surely reward me by dying off. After all, it seems to me when we fuss over a plant too much, it usually dies from too much care.  But I’m afraid that might backfire on me, because weeds don’t behave like ordinary garden plants. No. They are stronger, faster growing, and determined to take over.

What will I really do about my weeds?  I’ll just keep pulling them and whacking them back and get busy applying a good layer of mulch to the garden borders. If I do that, I’m bound to have some success with weed control, at least enough success so that my garden no longer qualifies for a world-record.

In the meantime, I wonder if signs at the gates announcing “no weeds allowed” would keep some of the weeds from coming into my garden?

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: humor, weeding, weeds

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. growingagardenindavis says

    July 31, 2016 at 5:12 am

    If only a sign would work!

    Reply
  2. Covegirl says

    July 31, 2016 at 11:58 am

    Weeds sure are pesky! LOl!

    Reply
  3. Denise says

    July 31, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    When you discover the solution, please let us know. I not only have weeds to pull, but nasty little seedlings of buckthorn trees, which neighbors seem to think are a desirable variety of trees. I spend most of my time in the garden pulling up weeds as they pop out in front of my eyes.

    Reply
  4. Lisa at Greenbow says

    July 31, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    I would definitely try the sign because it would help as much as anything else.

    Reply
  5. Rose says

    July 31, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    "…it seems as if they've brought their friends with them"–haha, so that is what is happening! I'm pretty sure I could compete with you for that world record, Carol:) I think there must be an invisible sign here that only weeds can see that says, "Come on in! The soil here is just right!"

    Reply
  6. Hoover Boo says

    August 1, 2016 at 1:58 am

    I know exactly what works. Four (going on five) years of extreme drought.

    Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease!

    Reply
  7. RobinL says

    August 1, 2016 at 2:26 am

    Yes, this is exactly what happens in my garden! The weeds hide till they are gigantic, then they jump out of hiding and holler BOO!

    Reply
  8. Jeric Danao says

    August 3, 2016 at 8:35 am

    I'm really trying to pursue gardening at its finest this August. These kinds of information really would be helpful, I hope you don't mind if I happen to use this as a reference. Would you be insightful if you can provide some tips on pest control? Thank you!

    Reply

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