Life of a Hollyhock: A One Act Play

Hollyhock ………………………… A simple biennial flower
Thorn Goblinfly ……………………. A simple little garden fairy
Various flowers. …………………… A variety of blooming flowers

TIME: Summer
SETTING: A garden

Hey Hollyhock. Where are your blooms? Look at me! I’m so pretty blooming now! Really, what’s that problem, Hollyhock, why aren’t you blooming? What’s a matter, Holly-hock? Nature got your flower? Come on, get with the blooming program here or get out of the garden!

Stop that! You know I’m a biennial. We don’t usually bloom the first year our seeds germinate. We need time to grow a strong root system because when we do bloom the second year, watch out! You’ll all be amazed then. Just you wait and see!

Hollyhock by Dee, Red Dirt Ramblings

(A soliloquy).  Just look how tall I am! I tower over all the flowers now. Now I’m the show and they are merely a backdrop. We go through this every two years. I’m a biennial. I don’t bloom the first year, I bloom the second year. I’m not a biannual. Biannual means twice a year. It’s b-i-e-n-n-i-a-l, rhymes with “perennial”. And please, do not call us outhouse flowers. We deserve a whole lot more respect, if not for ourselves, but for our entire family tree!

After all, if it wasn’t for our relatives of the Gossypium genus that like to grow down south, where old times aren’t forgotten, all the gardeners around here would be walking around in wool or polyester, or maybe even nekkid if it was really hot outside. Oh, you know the Gossypium’s! Most go by the name cotton.

And then there is Hibiscus esculentus in our family tree. That’s okra, but you smart gardeners in the audience knew that. Did we mention Hibiscus? Why yes, we did. There are all kinds of Hibiscus in our family tree, Malvaceae.

But probably the most famous and beloved member of our family tree, one that the botanists recently added to Malvaceae, one that is more famous and beloved than cotton, okra, and hibiscus flowers, combined, is Theobroma cacao, from which you all get chocolate. Now we have your attention!

Photo by Leslie of Growing A Garden In Davis

Oh dear! Oh my! Oh goodness! What are we garden fairies going to do! We are garden fairies and there is a storm coming. We need to do something to save the hollyhocks! Save the Hollyhocks! They are so big and tall. Look at some of those double-flowering hollyhocks! They are so top heavy. Why aren’t they staked? Lazy gardeners! Save the Hollyhocks! That big ol’ storm is going to knock them down. Henry Mitchell was right! Hollyhocks attract these storms with their tall blooms. They do! They must! Oh dear! Oh my! We are garden fairies and those bloom stalks are so tall. Save the Hollyhocks!

Photo by Mary Ann of Gardens of the Wild, Wild West.

Is it over? Is it safe to look? That was quite a storm. Is everyone okay? Can I get a bloom stalk count here? One, two, three… I think I’ve accounted for everyone. I reckon if Thorn Goblinfly and her merry band of garden fairies hadn’t come along when they did, we would all be flat on the ground. All hail the garden fairies! They can use some of our flowers to make hollyhock dolls. After all, we have plenty of seeds. In fact, some of our seeds will germinate later this summer and then they’ll bloom next year in this same spot!

(Light gradually fades as the main hollyhock and all the other hollyhocks break out into a chorus of song.)

Many thanks to Mary Ann of Gardens of the Wild, Wild West, Dee of Red Dirt Ramblings, and Leslie of Growing a Garden in Davis who provided set design, costumes, and make up for the various hollyhocks, Alcea sp). Oh, okay, they provided pictures, but I had more fun saying they provided set design, costumes, and make up.