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Award winner author of gardening humor books

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May Dreams Gardens

Five Tasks to Add to Your Gardening “To Do” List for October

October 5, 2011 By Carol Michel 9 Comments

Management at May Dreams Gardens has been advised by staff that many gardening “to do” lists published for October are not complete.

They lack certain key tasks that are regularly part of the gardening activities here.

Following are five of these missing tasks offered freely to  readers to add to their own lists.

(Management also believes in giving credit where credit is due and so has included the names of the individuals who came up with each item. Management does not wish to show preference for any one staff member over another and is therefore listing these in no particular order.)

When nights are cold, leave the doors to your house open just a crack and unattended for at least five minutes, then flick the porch light off and on a few times to signal the all clear for garden fairies to sneak inside. The garden fairies will spend the winter amongst the houseplants, be no bother at all (most of the time) and may even occasionally fill in for the toast fairies and make you a nice piece of toast on a cold Sunday morning. They promise that when they have their annual Christmas party with the tree fairies there will not be a repeat of last year’s unfortunate incident which resulted in a broken tree ornament or two or three and a strand of lights that mysteriously stopped working.  (Submitted by Thorn Goblinfly, Chief Scribe for the Garden Fairies at May Dreams Gardens.)

Show your good style and sense of fun by planting a pair of hands in the garden in October. Oh, how the Halloween trick or treaters will jump when they see these beauties sticking up out of the ground.

Hands at Dragonfly Farms Nursery

But please refrain from making the hands look all bloody and gross. That would be classless and lacking in style. (Submitted by Gloriosa Vanderhort, Carol’s garden stylist.)

Speaking of Halloween, make a note to throw a few pieces of candy around the garden for Halloween. This will ensure that your garden will be passed over by the Halloween Hare. Believe us, you want the Halloween Hare to find candy in your garden. Or else. Don’t tempt him, leave the candy, leave lots of candy, preferably chocolate and no, popcorn balls are not candy.  (Submitted by the Halloween Hare.)

Make up with your houseplants. You know you neglected them all summer long. Soon you will need them. You will regret how you mistreated them when the garden was all a-bloom outside. Give them a nice bath, water them well, and freshen up their potting soil by removing the top layer and replacing it. They’ll do so much better this winter and reward you with companionship, oxygen, and maybe, if you are lucky, a flower or two. (Submitted by Dr. Hortfreud.)

What should you do about the weeds? Evict them. Really, you’ve let the garden be overtaken with them. They are ruining the ambiance, sucking up the plant nutrients. They are thugs, thieves, tramps, and worse. I’m not going to be able to stay much longer if the conditions regarding the weeds get any worse than they are around here. (Submitted by Hortense Hoelove.)

Don’t wait until the end of the month to complete your to do list for October. You’ll regret it. But if you keep working in your garden a little bit at a time, every time the weather is good, you’ll fall in love with your garden all over again. (Submitted by The Old Woman at the Door).

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: gardening, humor

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. mr_subjunctive says

    October 5, 2011 at 5:25 am

    Bloody and gross is a style.

    Reply
  2. Fairegarden says

    October 5, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Good suggestions from the May Dreams group of writers, but I agree with Mr. Sub, some prefer that their garden hands sticking up out of the ground bloody and icky-poo.

    Frances

    Reply
  3. Your Day with Susy says

    October 5, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    Too funny, love the hands idea. So glad I stopped by because I had completely forgotten every single one of these items on my to-do list! Except the weeds of course, I've been trying to evict them for years without success.

    Reply
  4. Patsy Bell Hobson says

    October 5, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    credit where credit is due or, dissociative identity disorder? I'm a little worried about you, in a house with a bunch of hareless fairies….

    Reply
  5. Gail says

    October 5, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    I do love my garden so much more after a nice tidying and when the cooler weather arrives. Regarding the hands: I don't want bloody hands sticking up in my garden, but, green ones that make me think of Frankenstein's monster are on the list. gail

    Reply
  6. Dee/reddirtramblings says

    October 5, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    I like the fairies information. I will do.~~Dee

    Reply
  7. HolleyGarden says

    October 5, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    I think the Old Woman at the Door is the smartest one of the bunch. She know that a gardener loves the garden when he/she's out working in it.

    Reply
  8. shari says

    October 6, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    What to do if there is NO LIGHT at the back door? Would flicking the inside light work just as well? Would love a few fairies in the house plants this winter. last winter it was kind of boring in here.

    As for the hands in the garden, I think I'd like to see some rings on the hands. There's enough blood and gore in my garden at the moment. Don't ask… eeee!!

    Reply
  9. Cathryn says

    October 8, 2011 at 4:14 am

    Just what I needed to hear tonight! Thanks!

    Reply

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