• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary navigation
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Carol J. Michel

Award winner author of gardening humor books

  • About
    • Contact
  • Blog
  • Books
    • Shop
    • Gardening Humor
    • Children’s Books
    • New – The Halloween Hare
  • Social
    • YouTube
    • Instagram
  • The Gardenangelists Podcast
  • Gardening Humor
  • Children’s
  • All Books

May Dreams Gardens

SLOPpy Planting Warning

October 4, 2008 By Carol Michel 18 Comments

The following is a public service blog posting to warn gardeners about the travesty of planting spring flowering bulbs in straight lines.

To put it bluntly, gardeners don’t let other gardeners plant spring flowering bulbs in straight lines.

If you generally plant in straight rows, before you plant even one tulip bulb, please read the following.

The tendency to plant in straight rows is something called “straight line obsessive planting” disorder or SLOP.

Often found in gardeners who grew up planting vegetable gardens with ROWS of beans, peas, lettuce, tomatoes, etc., those with SLOP disorder almost instinctively plant everything in straight rows, often with the precision of equal spacing. It is only with great effort that they are able to plant in a more random fashion.

SLOP is of particular concern in the fall when it is time to plant spring-flowering bulbs like tulips, daffodils, hyacinths and countless minor bulbs. If a gardener afflicted with SLOP plants these bulbs following their instincts, the result will be tulips (or daffodils or hyacinths) lined up like flower soldiers, ready to march into some kind of spring-time battle.

If you have this SLOP disorder, you must fight it. You must concentrate when planting bulbs.

If you don’t, when you see that straight-as-a-wooden-arrow-from-Oregon row in the spring, you will wonder why you are less than satisfied with your spring flowers. You will not get the display you had hoped for, the one that causes your neighbors to stop in front of your house, roll down their car windows and holler out “gorgeous flowers”.

You may think that your row of tulips is orderly, and even convince yourself it looks good, but now you know it is really the result of SLOP.

This single best way to avoid SLOP is don’t dig individual holes for each bulb. Not only will this take more time, it will also increase the chances that you will have a SLOPpy row when you are done. Instead, dig nice wide holes and then throw the bulbs in and let them grow wherever they land.

That’s it. It sounds easy, and usually it is. But even within a big hole, if you have SLOP, you may try to arrange the bulbs in rows. Don’t do it. Get help. Invite a friend over to help you plant the bulbs, admit to them that you have this disorder, and ask them to monitor your planting so you don’t give in to it. If you are lucky, they might even help you dig the holes.

The bulbs are just now arriving, so I hope you’ve read this in time to prevent a SLOPpy tulip planting in your own garden.

Save your SLOPpy planting for the vegetable garden!

(Note, I planted the tulips above by myself, even though I suffer personally from SLOP disorder. But because I am aware of the disorder, I can manage it. I also planted this lettuce bed, some of my best SLOPpy planting!)

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: bulbs, humor

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. growingagardenindavis says

    October 4, 2008 at 3:44 am

    The tulips make me want to find an empty spot and plant a swath…no straight lines though!

    Reply
  2. Gail says

    October 4, 2008 at 4:19 am

    Carol, I can honestly tell you that this is one disorder I have avoided! I don’t have it at all! Several neighbors are afflicted and could use an intervention! Have you pulled an intervention team together?

    Gail

    Reply
  3. Anonymous says

    October 4, 2008 at 4:31 am

    I guess I really should order some tulips! No SLOP here except, as you say, in the veggie garden.

    Reply
  4. Annie in Austin says

    October 4, 2008 at 4:35 am

    Even if I planted them in rows, the squirrels usually have their own ideas about design;-]

    SLOP? It could be worse, Carol! You could have caught something called Always Neat And Lined-up.

    Annie at the Transplantable Rose

    Reply
  5. Aunt Debbi/kurts mom says

    October 4, 2008 at 5:04 am

    hahahaha. My mom SLOP. Thankfully, it is not genetic.

    Reply
  6. Kitt says

    October 4, 2008 at 5:26 am

    You could do a very interesting geometric garden with straight lines of bulbs!

    But I agree, natural is better. I toss out a handful of bulbs and then plant each one where it falls.

    Reply
  7. Lisa at Greenbow says

    October 4, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    Oooooooo. I hope the SLOP doesn’t come upon me when I open that first bag of bulbs. Thank you for the warning. I will avoid it like the plague.

    Reply
  8. Les says

    October 4, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    I believe there is a medication to treat SLOP from the same people who are working on the mostly male disease, CLOD (compulsive lawn obsession disorder). Now if they could only work on my problem with CRS.

    Reply
  9. Anonymous says

    October 4, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    HaHaHa….I think SLOP is genetic. You got the gene, I didn’t! It would NEVER occur to me to plant neatly.

    Your little sister

    Reply
  10. MA says

    October 4, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    I’ve threatened to hurt people for planting bulbs in straight lines. Don’t make me come find you, you know who you are.

    Reply
  11. Anonymous says

    October 4, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    The tulips are gorgeous, no matter how they’re planted. 🙂

    Reply
  12. Rose says

    October 4, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    Perfect timing, Carol–I just got an e-mail that some of my bulbs will be arriving soon. I have been such a SLOPpy bulb planter; I will try to mend my ways this fall. Beautiful planting of tulips in the photo!

    Reply
  13. Helen/patientgardener says

    October 4, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    I love your veggie plot especially the diagonal planting.

    Reply
  14. Rusty in Miami says

    October 4, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    I didn’t know I had SLPO disorder but I do. Is there anything I can take for it?

    Reply
  15. GardenMomma says

    October 4, 2008 at 10:16 pm

    I guess I could really have this disorder, but I try really hard to plant freely. Your little veggie plot with plants all in a row sure does look good, though….

    Reply
  16. Cindy, MCOK says

    October 5, 2008 at 4:58 am

    Those tulips are gorgeous indeed, and that’s a mighty fine bed of lettuce. I shall keep your advice in mind when planting bulbs or lettuces.

    Reply
  17. EAL says

    October 5, 2008 at 6:05 am

    I never thought anything should be planted in a straight line. I’m not sure I’m capable of it, even with vegetables, so probably as well i don’t have any!

    Reply
  18. vertie says

    October 6, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Definitely not my issue, but I almost want to have it to make my lettuce look like yours!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Updates from Carol Michel

* indicates required
Email Preferences

Categories

  • Blog (3,048)
  • Internal (2)

Blog Tags

annuals Blogging books bulbs dr. hortfreud embrace fairies fall family flowers fruits garden bloggers bloom day garden bloggers book club garden design gardeners gardening gardening geek gardens hoes holidays hortense hoelove houseplants humor indoor gardening insects lawn letters to gardening friends perennials rabbits reviews Secrets seeds shrubs spring tools trees vegetable garden vegetable gardening vegetables weather weeding weeds when a gardener wildflower wednesday winter

The Gardenangelists Podcast with Dee Nash

Gardenangelists Podcast

Footer

Gardenangelists Podcast with Dee Nash

Gardenangelists Podcast

Connect

  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • YouTube
  • maydreams icon

Quick Links

  • Home
  • Contact
  • Books
  • May Dreams Gardens
  • Podcast

Updates from Carol Michel

* indicates required
Email Preferences

Newsletter Archive

Copyright © 2023 · CarolJMichel.com · Sitemap · Privacy Policy

Book purchase links are affiliate links and Carol earns a small commission if you make a purchase.

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie SettingsAccept
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT