Garden Fairies Discuss New Fence

Garden fairies here!

Oh my, let us first dust off this blog and wipe away the cobwebs because Carol has been suspiciously absent and hasn’t posted one single thing since her last post on the 15th of November, and now it is the 2nd of December, and here we are!

We are garden fairies, and we are beside ourselves and upside down and oh my!

No, it is not the snow that has caused us to be beside ourselves. We are garden fairies. We can handle snow. We might even be secretly involved in creating snow! But that’s a story for another day.

Do you see what is missing from that picture?

The Fence!

It’s gone!

And there are strangers here putting up a new fence.

We garden fairies were not informed, consulted, sought permission from, or otherwise involved in the Complete Replacement of the Entire Privacy Fence. Though honestly, Ol’ Rainbow Tanglefly expected this after seeing all kinds of people measuring and talking and gesturing around the fence the last few months. He rightly warned us this might happen!

But before the fence guys came and removed the fence, Carol came out and “Goodness Gracious!” is all we can say. Someone should have taken those pruners out of her hands and told her to simmer it down and stop cutting stuff back in the fall!

Granny ‘Gus’ McGarden and really, all of us garden fairies, could not believe how much stuff Carol cut back along the fence. Branches and vines, more branches, and stems! The figs weren’t safe. The smokebush trees weren’t safe. Ditto our giant panicle hydrangea. And several shrubs, too! Whack, cut, chop, remove! Over and over again!

We tried once to stop Carol by hiding her pruners. Seedy and Soddy had the brilliant idea to hide those pruners in The Attic when they saw Carol go up there to look for a supposed mysterious leak. Oh, gosh, it was so easy.

But our brilliant plan did not work! Carol had backup pruners and backup backup pruners, ad infinitum. She could not be stopped!

By the way, do not for one minute worry about those original pruners, her most expensive pruners. We are garden fairies, we would not have allowed them to remain lost forever as that is against The Garden Fairy Code of Ethics Related To Hiding Tools From Gardeners, or the GFCERHTFG. Carol went back up into The Attic the next day and found them.

Anyway…

We are garden fairies. We did what we could, but the gigantic pile of branches on the patio kept getting bigger every time we looked.

Please now take a moment and gaze upon the picture of the old fence. We loved it, we were sheltered by it, and we hope the new one is nice.

But that is not the end of this post!

Continuing on…

Do you know what else was on that pile?

Stuff from the front garden! Stuff from garden beds and borders not even near the fence! Now, we ask you, Dear Readers, for what reason would Carol need to cut back stuff which was not near or around or even close to the fence?

There was no reason! She apparently became quite obsessed with making that pile as big as possible because she knew, SHE KNEW, someone else was going to haul it all away. So she cut back stuff everywhere. EVERYWHERE!

It was a garden massacre!

Honoria and Hortensia said they hoped we garden fairies wouldn’t have to look at that pile of brush, that reminder of Carol’s maniacal cutting back of the garden, all winter long. It would be a constant reminder of what happened here in our once peaceful, tranquil garden.

And we didn’t, thank goodness, because one day last week, two guys whom we’d never seen before showed up and hauled it off. Fortunately, no garden fairies were sleeping in that pile when it was unceremoniously removed. We are garden fairies. We do not sleep in piles like that!

Where were we?

Oh, right. The fence.

We are garden fairies! It’s going to take us all winter and then some to recover from this experience!

In the meantime, while we recover, regroup, and recuperate from this fence fiasco—and did we mention garden massacre?—we have our usual wintertime activities keeping us busy. We’ll post some other day about them.

Until then, please send kind thoughts for our recovery.

Submitted by:

Violet Sweetpea May Dreams, Chief Scribe and Head Enforcer of the Garden Fairy Code of Ethics Related To Hiding Tools From Gardeners, or the GFCERHTFG.